Yeeeees.

I can feel it creeping up on me again, the stress, the constant battle.
For about 1½ years I was on a break, and now that I'm back in the game I can't say I feel stronger or more confident. After the libaration I went beserc, with money, desitions, myself, I made some bad calls. Now, when I grasp upon what I have in my lap and on the road ahead, I feel the same stress and pressure I felt 2 years ago.
The bad calls I made involved mostly money, I've been broke before, but now that I have a steady income every month, it hurts throwing away money on shit I bought. I'm going to try and fix it, but it's not going to be easy.
Luckily, I have a boyfriend which I have a strong relationship with, that has on so little time already been thru so much, he stood by me when I went beserc. Don't even know how to explain the beserc part, but many, many bad choices, that hurted alot of people. And now we are actually, even gone that far to looking at apartments together, for once I'm not a bystander, I have a say in everything.
I have a good friend, that's much like me, that slows me down when I rush, that put's me on the ground with my own two feet. That helps me relax, be myself, have fun and just go with the flow.
I have a solid family, that helps me thru the worst of times, everyone knows how I feel towards my family, the strong bond that never breaks even If they piss me off sometimes.

I still miss alot of the chill, but this have made me appreciate chilltime so much more, a hot bath or a good cup of thé and a good movie, oh dear god give me friday now!