I'm so seriously sick of people seeking drama, it gets too much, isnt your life that excited aleady? I feel sorry for you, that you need to drag down a group filled with good people just because you feel this and that.
I'm currently in this campaign group for this cultureday on my school, I'm the Chairwoman and I love the part I'm playing. But there is this villain with her sidekick that is determant to drag not only me but the hole team down by spreading lies about indulgence and idleness. Because she doesnt understand the part she's playing she has to go running to the teacher, risk everyones (that isnt her) grade and just trashtalk. We have clearly helpt her understand what she is suppost to do, she hasnt had any questions or doubt, so how does that become our fault? If we feel she gets it, she shows she gets it, how are we suppost to walk into her mind and find out the truth?
I'm not feeling the fact that people go behind my back, ranting about stuff that arent true and trying to stab the group in the back. If she made it personal, and went tadeling on me, that would have been different, she wouldnt punish the group, I could take that. Right now I couldnt care less about this grade, I was thinking jumping off now, but 5 weeks to go and it's foolish. Let's see where this takes us. She made the teacher write a long letter to the hooole class and today he's gonna sit down with us and talk about rights and wrongs, active or not, responsibillity,
and this has never felt more like kindergarden.
4/22/2009
4/12/2009
Yaosa
There's no greater feeling in the world then being inlove. I admire people that say they still have a part of that new fresh in-love-feeling after 1, 2, even 10 years.
I go thru variouse peoples blogs everyday, and just read that again, reminding me of how beautiful it truly is, I'm happy for people that get out of bad relationships and move on. The fact that if the one they meet afterwards is the perfect one is just a bonus in my eyes, a great one at that.
Everyday, probobly every second someone in the world is making a mistake, it's human and shouldnt pay too much attention if that mistake doesnt include breaking a social code, law or norm that is.
I have had a wonderful weekend, I am truly happy that I have a man like Dag.
I don't feel too well, I'm in pain all the time (my wrist and such), I'm stressed and I have to much plans. When it gets too much he helps a lot.
Oh well. Kinda tired atm, so wish you a good night.
I go thru variouse peoples blogs everyday, and just read that again, reminding me of how beautiful it truly is, I'm happy for people that get out of bad relationships and move on. The fact that if the one they meet afterwards is the perfect one is just a bonus in my eyes, a great one at that.
Everyday, probobly every second someone in the world is making a mistake, it's human and shouldnt pay too much attention if that mistake doesnt include breaking a social code, law or norm that is.
I have had a wonderful weekend, I am truly happy that I have a man like Dag.
I don't feel too well, I'm in pain all the time (my wrist and such), I'm stressed and I have to much plans. When it gets too much he helps a lot.
Oh well. Kinda tired atm, so wish you a good night.
4/10/2009
Happy Easter
And I'm sick again. What's up with my immunsystem? It compleatly sucks.
It's spring and the sun is shining and I want to die because of all this physical shit thats happening.
Upside is I play wow while I'm inside, all the time. I've found a new spark really.
I knew I should have levled a pally a long time ago, broken my ass, blindly listening to the man you loved isnt always the right thing. I compleatly love it ..
And well, I knew I should have gone horde a long time ago.
Those that have characters on both side often say there's no difference, hasnt payed good enough attention.
For the swedes who read my blogg, take a peek at my best friends blogg, her lastest post, kinda cool. http://jooozie.blogg.se/ .
I love to see people shine.
Well, off to play easter with the family.
It's spring and the sun is shining and I want to die because of all this physical shit thats happening.
Upside is I play wow while I'm inside, all the time. I've found a new spark really.
I knew I should have levled a pally a long time ago, broken my ass, blindly listening to the man you loved isnt always the right thing. I compleatly love it ..
And well, I knew I should have gone horde a long time ago.
Those that have characters on both side often say there's no difference, hasnt payed good enough attention.
For the swedes who read my blogg, take a peek at my best friends blogg, her lastest post, kinda cool. http://jooozie.blogg.se/ .
I love to see people shine.
Well, off to play easter with the family.
4/06/2009
Space
Boy be carefull what you wish for, cause you might get that and so much more.
In the closet where my clothes should be,
In that empty bed without me,
Now I'm walking out the front door.
You got exactly what you asked for: Space
In your phone where it said my name
You can't have youre cake and eat it.
Så kom för helvete inte och whina.
Clean up your mess and your life,
you got the space for it now.
----
If we let that go for a while, since I'm pissed.
Was at the doctor today, I'm having surgery in 1-5 weeks.
Think of me.
Sharing more later.
Peace out.
In the closet where my clothes should be,
In that empty bed without me,
Now I'm walking out the front door.
You got exactly what you asked for: Space
In your phone where it said my name
You can't have youre cake and eat it.
Så kom för helvete inte och whina.
Clean up your mess and your life,
you got the space for it now.
----
If we let that go for a while, since I'm pissed.
Was at the doctor today, I'm having surgery in 1-5 weeks.
Think of me.
Sharing more later.
Peace out.
4/05/2009
Read or dont read, I'm still dreaming
I just now, and I swear it, had the most horrible yet interesting dream ever, or well, I consider it a nightmare.
I just woke up right now (this is'nt the dream) and last night I had a slight fight with my boyfriend, a small one, ware drunk and so on, I usually get pissy over small things and start arguments. But what ever, I tell you this because I think that's one of the reasons I dreamt this.
I'm really freaking out, it was a really together, welldreamt dream. No pink elephants running around or what ever normal people dream about.
The italics is the dream, rest just comments.
Can't remember just how it started, but I remember a house, kinda runned down with lots of rooms, two floors atleast. Lots of beds for some reason. On the outside it looked like my grandma's house (Spoke to them today for a long while aswell).
Everyone who knows me, knows that I see alot of horror movies, It's come to be called even a addiction since it's kinda hurting me and giving me pleasure at the same time. And everyone knows I don't go anywhere without my phone and some other stuff in my pockets.
Suddenly I was inside this house, going thru these rooms, and I see a person, or the shape of a person, and he see's me, he starts to chase me, and after a small time of chasing , where I was looking for a escape, we stop in one of the rooms, I lay down on one of the beds, and he tries to seduce me, I don't resist and he tries to pleasure me (No joke). I say nothing, don't strugle, he's not good at it, and after like a few minutes I break loose and starts running around for the exit, I see a balcone and run out on it, we are on the second floor and I jump.
I run around and theres a hill and a small house right next to the house I just jumped out of, it's raining and really gushing down, and I see my grandparents thru a big window, crying.
I run inside to them and screaming for help, but they don't see me, not in the meaning that they don't care, they can't see me. My grandparents ware there, my mother and father, brother, most of the family. My granparents ware in the kitchen, walking about, very sad, I desperatly want they to see me, I need help. They walk to the other room where the rest of the family is around a big squared table. There I shout and cry and scream for them to see me, lots of crying. And when I'm about to give up I scream one last time: Why dont you see me? And my mother answers: We can see you now, and she smiles at me.
This is the part that gets freaky in the dream, I don't skip anything that I remember, my dreams arent usually this get together, logical and understandable, but not in together in the hole context.
My father comes up to me with 2-3 pieces of paper, gives them to me to read. I go thru them, not understanding what's going on, and I see this line where it says like: Declared with schizofrenia. And in my dream I get hazy and stop listening to what they are telling me, asking myself if the big house was a illusion and whats what. I ask for my jacket, for my phone and my things, I want to call my boyfriend Dag, because he is'nt there with my family. My jacket hangs in a hallway leading outside again, I go thru my pocket, grabbing not only the phone I own IRL at the moment, but a old phone of mine. Both batteries are dead. I run outside, up to another house which in the dream feels like home.
Dont remember in the dream If I call him or not on my homephone but..
In the next moment I get into his car (thou not the same car as he owns IRL), we talk alot, we tell each other that we love eachother, lots of talking. And when we cruise thru Malmö, I notice that lots have changed and I joke and say something like: Wow, for how long was I out of it?, this is the part where it gets sad, Dag replys: 2 years.
Instantly I get a wierd feeling in my stomach, not realizing he is being real about it. I rain questions on him, asking him first tons questions about me and what happend. When I calm down I say: You actually stood by my side for 2 years, not leaving me even if things ware this bad. He looks at me, smiling (like he always does IRL) saying: Ofcourse, you know I would, I love you.
Remember how I felt in the dream, at that moment. I ask him about the stuff we had planned, and thats when I realize the timeperspective of the dream is now. Me and Dag are going to share a home by the end of this month, we have planned, IRL now, the renovations and what to put where, it's been a big part of the day these past weeks.
I ask him about the apartment and he sighs and says he just finished the floors that I wanted, but theres alot of work, but that we have a home. And I ask to go and see it with him, he smiles yet again and says: Ofcourse.
After that I woke up, feeling .. well lots of things, I grab my phone and I text to Dag, telling him I love him and just that.
As been said, my dreams are never like this, thought i ought to write it down and the blog was the first thing that poped in this tired, still halfasleep young woman.
And lol, you just read one of my dreams.
I just woke up right now (this is'nt the dream) and last night I had a slight fight with my boyfriend, a small one, ware drunk and so on, I usually get pissy over small things and start arguments. But what ever, I tell you this because I think that's one of the reasons I dreamt this.
I'm really freaking out, it was a really together, welldreamt dream. No pink elephants running around or what ever normal people dream about.
The italics is the dream, rest just comments.
Can't remember just how it started, but I remember a house, kinda runned down with lots of rooms, two floors atleast. Lots of beds for some reason. On the outside it looked like my grandma's house (Spoke to them today for a long while aswell).
Everyone who knows me, knows that I see alot of horror movies, It's come to be called even a addiction since it's kinda hurting me and giving me pleasure at the same time. And everyone knows I don't go anywhere without my phone and some other stuff in my pockets.
Suddenly I was inside this house, going thru these rooms, and I see a person, or the shape of a person, and he see's me, he starts to chase me, and after a small time of chasing , where I was looking for a escape, we stop in one of the rooms, I lay down on one of the beds, and he tries to seduce me, I don't resist and he tries to pleasure me (No joke). I say nothing, don't strugle, he's not good at it, and after like a few minutes I break loose and starts running around for the exit, I see a balcone and run out on it, we are on the second floor and I jump.
I run around and theres a hill and a small house right next to the house I just jumped out of, it's raining and really gushing down, and I see my grandparents thru a big window, crying.
I run inside to them and screaming for help, but they don't see me, not in the meaning that they don't care, they can't see me. My grandparents ware there, my mother and father, brother, most of the family. My granparents ware in the kitchen, walking about, very sad, I desperatly want they to see me, I need help. They walk to the other room where the rest of the family is around a big squared table. There I shout and cry and scream for them to see me, lots of crying. And when I'm about to give up I scream one last time: Why dont you see me? And my mother answers: We can see you now, and she smiles at me.
This is the part that gets freaky in the dream, I don't skip anything that I remember, my dreams arent usually this get together, logical and understandable, but not in together in the hole context.
My father comes up to me with 2-3 pieces of paper, gives them to me to read. I go thru them, not understanding what's going on, and I see this line where it says like: Declared with schizofrenia. And in my dream I get hazy and stop listening to what they are telling me, asking myself if the big house was a illusion and whats what. I ask for my jacket, for my phone and my things, I want to call my boyfriend Dag, because he is'nt there with my family. My jacket hangs in a hallway leading outside again, I go thru my pocket, grabbing not only the phone I own IRL at the moment, but a old phone of mine. Both batteries are dead. I run outside, up to another house which in the dream feels like home.
Dont remember in the dream If I call him or not on my homephone but..
In the next moment I get into his car (thou not the same car as he owns IRL), we talk alot, we tell each other that we love eachother, lots of talking. And when we cruise thru Malmö, I notice that lots have changed and I joke and say something like: Wow, for how long was I out of it?, this is the part where it gets sad, Dag replys: 2 years.
Instantly I get a wierd feeling in my stomach, not realizing he is being real about it. I rain questions on him, asking him first tons questions about me and what happend. When I calm down I say: You actually stood by my side for 2 years, not leaving me even if things ware this bad. He looks at me, smiling (like he always does IRL) saying: Ofcourse, you know I would, I love you.
Remember how I felt in the dream, at that moment. I ask him about the stuff we had planned, and thats when I realize the timeperspective of the dream is now. Me and Dag are going to share a home by the end of this month, we have planned, IRL now, the renovations and what to put where, it's been a big part of the day these past weeks.
I ask him about the apartment and he sighs and says he just finished the floors that I wanted, but theres alot of work, but that we have a home. And I ask to go and see it with him, he smiles yet again and says: Ofcourse.
After that I woke up, feeling .. well lots of things, I grab my phone and I text to Dag, telling him I love him and just that.
As been said, my dreams are never like this, thought i ought to write it down and the blog was the first thing that poped in this tired, still halfasleep young woman.
And lol, you just read one of my dreams.
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