Letting go maybe?

2009 turns out to be quite .. odd. Atleast the start.
As always I tend to think back to the past, about people that come and go. Going thru facebook, seeing old friends, really old friends, and people that dont even want to be friends on facebook for what happend in the past.
Recently it's been about a certain someone that I miss, and yet dont miss.
I kinda wrote a list in my head, and the stuff I miss is like the incredible sex, listening to you talk, seeing you grow. I miss the kittens, no one gets it when I say the Lycans should be small kittens instead, no one see's what we saw. I really miss the kittens. I don't miss the rush, the feeling of being alone, the hunt for love and a thank you, beeing portrayed as a ideal couple, the pressure of meeting up to you, the unknown future and not knowing what you wanted. And you ware always right, I hated it. But you ware so smart and when you shined, you truly shined. I miss being the one you told everything to, I dont miss feeling like you never spoke to me. Overall I appreciate the fact that I can say that I once knew you. Even if you wont give me my stuff and pictures back, kinda pisses me.
And I was'nt broken when I started the journey with you, I got broken in the mean time, not because of you thou.
I got something good now, dont know where it's going, but I have total freedome to do what I wish, he shows me love and devotion, he fights with me, he let's me know he see's the hard work I'm doing. And lord knows I'm fucking pushing limits right now, I'm so afraid to get burned out again but that's another story. I've never seen or felt the amount of efford of making sure and truly busting their ass to make another human beeing feel good, feel apreciated and feel love.
But everyone got their downs, things I rather not see. As you go thru the process of getting to know a person, when the high is over, and you see the person, what do you see?
As a finisher for what's been said, can't change the past.


As known, I go to school this semester, a highschool thing before the university, and I study a various things, amongs those things I have the honour of studying Rhetoric and it's the art of speeking, what Obama rocks at.
And in this class we are suppost to write three speeches, one emotional, one informative and last a argumental. The emotional was done a couple weeks ago, I wrote about the day I found out I had diabetes, almost stood there and cried infront of 15 people.
The next one is the informative one, and I got such a good plan, I hope everyone that reads this has seen Zeitgeist, I know I have, like 10 times. And what this movie informs it's viewers is what I'm going to inform my class. It's going to be so kickass.


Right now I'm going to continue doing my Biology, just waiting out the time until the clock is 15.15, then comes the verdict on what's going to happen to my wrist, if I need surgery or not.
I just don't want the pain anymore.

Wish me luck, and think of me then.